Today is Thursday.. all day Long

Christian has started singing this new little song... Today is ... day today is ... day all day long. He has used this to organize himself about the days of the week and what is going on in his life. Pretty amazing for my little boy! I keep reflecting back because it is such a good guide for me as we go forward with his autism.

We look at where he was.. and I know in my soul that we have made the right choices with his treatment. Christian is ever changing and ever growing and I can hardly keep up. I would say he is thinking more... He tells me about using his imagination and he is able to sit down and talk with kids. Last week, he walked up to a child at church and said "Hello". When the child did not answer, he said "Hello, I was talking to you". To some of you, you will not understand the amazing part of this story. In the past, he would have just looked away or not even spoken, now.. He said.. I was talking to you!! My little boy's world is getting larger and larger by the day. He has stopped holding on to the need to live in his own little world everyday.

I am able to ask him to do something simple and he is listening and responding and doing what I asked of him. In the past few months, this would not have been possible for him. He is playing games and taking turns, sharing... all those things a child with autism is not supposed to do.

Okay here is thing... If we tested him right now.. would they label him autistic? Or would they say it has gone away. I know in my heart it is becoming less and less or a barrier for him and more and more of his life is coming through. Christian is able to tell me more of what he did today (even though I still have to ask it exactly the right way to get the answer). I think he is clearer because early education works!! Doing all the things you have to do to help your child get beter is PARAMOUNT! I would not want to redo all the hours of therapy and school and work.. but I would never leave it out in his vogage... It has made him who he is today.

We have been getting Chiropractic care and by the sheer grace of God we have found a wonderful doctor who understands autism and is helping my son to recover from some damage to his neck.. we are hoping to see gains from this.. and really have already.

Christian reads... Be careful when you try to spell in front of him.. he knows what your saying. I am so pleased with his progress and I just feel blessed to watch him everyday. Thank God for answered prayers.

My Little Lion

Reading and Playing

I started this blog to journey my son's progress. Although looking back now, I think it was a concrete place to put my grief. To capture it in writing and to show the slow painstaking processes of autism. As I scanned back through today, I realized I had not desperately need to blog lately because he has began to be just my little boy. The autism is a part of him now.. just as his incredible smile. I do not measure every movement under a microscope, which in a way allows us all to play and live more freely.

Christian can read now. We had a box of 100 sight words and he could tell you about 90 of them. He has an intense fascinatoin for signing and loves Signing times. He is able to let you know his preferences and is beginning to have more spontaneous imaginative play.

He still has difficutly playing with peers and while he can say hello and loves to greet them, he has a hard time with sustained interactive play. Also, he is still very scripted and needs us to sometimes think for him through interactions. As we move forward, these are some of the areas that we are focusing most clearly on to improve.

A Mother's Growing

When I began this blog, it was to capture my son's growth... to capture the highs, the lows, and the in-between. As I have been down this road, I have began to understand it as much about my own growth as a mom coming to terms with her son's autism. It seems from the moment I found out about his disability, I have felt this overwhelming drive to do everything within my power to change the outcome of my son's autism..to make it dissappear.

Last week, I read several articles written by folks with autism. When I read the articles.. I had a sense of knowing... knowing that there truths were giving me insight into my son's world and knowing they were speaking to deep parts of me and how I should raise my son. There were certain truths that I had to face and speak to myself. I have to accept and know that no matter what mental, emotional, or investment, Christian's autism.. will be that... autism. It may not be as large and looming.. it may not overtake his life to such a degree.. but it is a part of him. Just as his blond hair and his blue eyes and his sweet warm voice is part of my son.

Jesus Loves Me Prayer

To understand this story, you must first understand that I only started to go to church less than a year ago. I chose to go to church so that I could have a place that loved and supported my son, in a way I had seen the church community overwhelmingly embrace another young man and his family with autism. During this past year, I have attended church regularly with my children. I never truly know what it is that Christian knows about or understands about God except through gleaming moments like the one I speak of now.


It was the Advent of Hope Sunday and I was listening to our minister talk about how amazing things had happened on this Sunday for people and I decided to go and get my son, Christian, from the nursery and pray with him with the altar call opened. I went and picked up and was greeted so joyfully. We walked to the altar, where I was greeted by a minister that also has a special needs child. I asked him to pray over Christian for his healing and we knelt down to pray. I said to Christian "Let's pray" and he said " I pray Mommy". I was ready with my prayer to ask for his healing and for continued growth, when I heard Christian singing "Jesus loves me this I know.. for the bible tells me so. Little to ones to him belong. They are weak but he is strong. Yes... Jesus Loves me". My prayer... was singing along with my son on our kneels at the altar.

I believe in what Christian's heart was singing and saying inside. He gave a voice to his prayer and I was thankful for God's blessings to give voice to his heart.
As tears streamed down my face, I knew beyond a doubt that God is moving in our lives.

Halloween for Christian.. Balancing it out

We found ourselves asking as this season approached.. How do we support our son to be part of the Halloween fesitivities and balance his special needs.

Christian is on a dairy-free, limited sugar, limited dyes diet. Well, this is absolutely everything opposite of Halloween! So, as a family, Mike and I discussed what was the best course for our son. He had a round of parties at his new School, the Big Red School,Church and his daycare. Also, his grammie sent him things. We knew if we gave in to Halloween Christian would have some problems.. yet, we all go and do things we should not do.. like eating more candy at Halloween than most of us eat all year.

During this season, Christian came home with Halloween books, Halloween crafts, Halloween drawings,and he was able to visit a pumpking patch. He has walked around my house saying "Boo" and "Ohhh Scarey". So we decided to let him take advantage of this season. He was able to dress up

We allowed him to have treats (within reason) at his parties and gave him a few treats at home. We did see an effect within a day or so on Christian. He was spinning in circles, could not answer concepts he knew without seeming confused, his stomach was crazy upset with the most foul smelling gas and diarhea. His cooperation skills decreased and he could not go to sleep until late into the night. Dad got cold feet about 1/2 way in and decided we were going to stop.. but we worked through it and talked with his therapists and decided that this too is part of living and celebrating.

I regret that I did not take him out to trick or treat this year. Due to his not listening as well and running during this past few days, I did not feel that comfortable in taking him out. I was fearful he would run, have meltdowns, or he did not need the candy. Dad was not happy that he did not get this time out to trick or treat (which I understand and agree with).

So looking back, next year, we will probably buy some sugar free candies to substitute out, take him out to trick or treat and continue to work through and discern how is the best way to navigate supporting his biomedical needs and his need to be a little boy.

Oh and a highlight... He was Barney at the Big Red school. I am sure if you could come the closest to his idea of a perfect day.. having a party and being Barney would be it for him!

Looking Back...

Sometimes it is the looking back that you realize how far you have journeyed. As I have looked at my son's life over the course of the past year, I realize what an amazing strength and passion for life he has. Christian was basically non-verbal last year. He said EI EI EI EI over and over, flapped his hands and said Hi,Bye, and Da indiscriminately. His response to me was to tune me out most of the time, so much so that we actually thought he could not hear. He was full of tears, crying ,and rage at the world. Then it happened... First Steps. First Steps providers came into our lives and changed our world. We learned how to reach our son, how to walk with our son, and now how to follow his lead. Christian today looks nothing like the little boy lost a year ago. He loves passionately, feels intensly and is learning how to express to us the many thoughts in his head. As we receive more services, we see him sitting for 20 minutes (Are you sure this is my child), eating a larger variety of food, initiating games with his little sister, and saying "big hug and a kiss" for us to kiss him. When we were waking up last weekend, I rolled over and told him " I love you". He looked back and said " You love me?" I hugged him and Said yes I love Christian. Christian said " I love you too Mommy". Not even 8 months ago was the first time he said Mama. Wow... If you want to see a blessing in action, meet my little boy. Perspective, he blows it out of the water... He reminds me not to set limits.. for he has no boundaries to what he can achieve. Autism or not, Christian is our light. Thanks for the many blessings he gives us daily (from smiles of what he says to tears of joy that he finally got a concept).

Happy Birthday to Christian

Mommy...PLAY

Sometimes, I look back at where we began and can not believe it is the same child. Christian is emerging from his autism and is beginning to make more and more attempts to come out and play with us. He has made two friends (Ethan, Grant, and their Mom,Kimberly). He asks me about going to play with them and will so, "Mommy, so see Ethan, Grant, and Kimberly? Play?" He enjoys their company. When he is around them, it makes my heart happy. These two little boys do not let Christian remain alone. If he goes to the sandbox,they go to play in sand. If he goes to climb, they go to climb. He ran back and forth with them for almost 10 minutes. With these boys, you would not see his autism, unless you look closely.

At school this week, he asked his speech therapist " I want a drink of water please". After he sat at his table for over 5 minutes (A MONUMENTAL accomplishment) he told Vicki, "I just want water please". Not only did he ask in a full sentence, he used a qualifier. Vicki said he is trying to talk with kids, but it is in his speech that they may not understand what he is trying to say. If we can harness it, and teach him what to say.. we are on a good course. I have been working with alot on saying "I want...." and he is doing it. So with concentrated effort, maybe we can get him to better conversational topics.

Monica, his new Impact therapist, saw him last week and said that he interacted with a little two year old boy and took his hand (YIPPEE!) and held it to walk with him back into the building. He has never initiated walking with another child holding their hand.

A few weeks ago, I offerred him milk or juice to drink and he asked for "more choices" When I asked him what other choice did he want, he said "Sprite".

We are continuing with Dr. Crevar and have started him on Rice Milk at his request to avoid Soy. His allergies are acting up and he is sneezing quite a bit. His stools seem more solid and less foul smelling. Hopefully, we will see a positive reaction with the rice milk.

I bought Christian another Climbing toy for the backyard (Which he now calls the Park) and a trampoline. I believe he really is able to re-organize himself if he can propreceptive input.

I will continue to watch him and share his progress. I can only begin to express my gratitude at his need to "Play Mommie".

Understanding Jesus and God's Love

I have been taking Christian to church since March of 2005. I started taking him to church after I realized what a blessing to another man with autism the church has been and how the man's faith had been a cornerstone in his life. Christian and I go (along with Lily) to Church on Sunday's and on Wednesday nights. When I first decided to go to church, it was with hestitation that he would be safe and adapt to the nursery room. He has amazed me! He loves to go and play at "Jesus's house" and will show me what he has learned. One night, His Papa had put up a picture of Jesus on the cross and Christian walked past it and said "Jesus". WOW! I did not know he could recognize the image on a cross. He has learned the Bible Phrases at Church that "God Loves Jesus". I was talking to his sister today about prayer and I turned around and he had his hands in prayer and said "Mommy, Pray". I can not tell you the waves of awe that came over me. Christian understands God's love and is touched by joy, love, and happiness at Church. I went to the PAL's ministry at church and my goal was for him to understand God and to learn to make friends. I know that he has an understanding of God and Jesus... I am sure they are working in his life as I see such a remarkable change in my son.

So many changes... So many Oppurtunities

Well, It's official, my little boy is now 3 years old. With him turning 3, there is a whirlwhind of changes that will emerge. First Steps, a federally funded program ends the day of his birthday. For Christian, this means that his intensive in home therapies are no longer paid for by the state. He is currently receiving OT, Developmental Intervention, and Speech therapy. He has made such marked progress in our 11 months of services that we are looking at a much different child than when we began services. Basically, now we have to decide if we can pay privately on a limited financial budget or he stops these services privately.

He started Bowling Green City Preschool at Parker-Bennett Curry with Mrs. Klotter this week. She is well recognized in this community for her supports to kids with autism and developemental delays. She uses an intensely structured classroom and bases alot of the model on the TEACH curriculum. He follows a visual schedule from activity to activity to better organize his day. The aides are well trained and now how to make the most difference with these kids. I anticipate he will grow tremendously in this program. He will be attending Monday-Thursday (11:15-2:15 3 hours per day -12 hours per week). He will receive OT (with Toby Black) two times per month and Speech two times per week for 20 minutes (Elizabeth Gilbert). I am working to understand and see how we can implement all he will be learning across his life.

During part of the week, he attends Family First Early Learning Center (M-W 4 hours per day). He has been going there since December and really loves it. This allows him to be around peers and develop social relationships. He had a change in his pre-school teacher this week. He starts in a new classroom at PBC elementary school and a new classroom at pre-school (with Mrs. Amanda). Also, he attends Western Kentucky University's Early Childhood Big Red School (with Lisa Murphy) two days per week for 3 hours each day.

We are starting the process for impact plus, which provides additional supports. He will have a therapist (Monica Bledsoe) and TCS workers. They will also work hard to help my son.

So many changes.. with so many oppurtunities. I can hardly wait to see his growing...

Barney.. It's a love and Hate relationship for me!

My son has an absolute Barney obsession. I know from him waking up in my room that he even dreams of Barney.... Christian watches Barney videos, can quote Barney, and knows more Barney songs than I can imagine. The love for Barney comes from all the knowledge I see Christian gaining from him. He has learned good manners (please and thank you) greetings (It's nice to see you.. It's good to see you) and so much more. Barney made taking a bath, brushing your teeth, and washing your hands a cool thing for Christian to be part of in his life. His eyes light up and he has a happiness about him that is hard to top when Barney is around. This weekend we went to the Flea Market and he saw a life-size Barney, which we bought him and he was proud of in the car riding buckled in beside him. When we got to the discount record store, he spotted a Barney Video. He had a super melt down when we left because he was unable to have Barney. He cried and yelled for almost 45 minutes, with no being deterred. He would cry ... "Bye Barney.. no Barney.. where did Barney go" over and over. After 45 minutes, we drove to my Mom's house and got his favorite Barney tape and popped it in the tape player.. instantly, he said "Oh Barney.." with such a sigh of relief and just started to sing along. So, we trade one Barney for another Barney and he is better. UGGGH! A few weeks ago at Wal-mart, (Another Barney nightmare), he wanted a Barney book. I bought him 1 book out of 4 and we took it to the register. At the register, he handed me back the Barney book and said "Bye Bye Barney" and asked me "Where is farmer Barney". This meant, I have changed my mind and now I want the Farmer Barney coloring book. The good news is that before this time in his life, he would have been holding Barney crying for Barney and I would have had to idea what was wrong. So, we have growth... I do have to work on teaching Christian he can not have Barney in every store and that all Bareny's do not belogn to him. I think this is hard concept for him. He can play with every other Barney so what makes a store diffrent? At home, he has a ton of Barney movies.. (which he began to line up all across his floor) and Barney memorabalia. This morning, we traded a Barney Video for a Barney book just to get to the Car. While I love the things my son has learned from Barney, I would love to learn some wisdom on how to get him to go out into the community and Barney not become a barrier to his success. I think this is where the love and hate for Barney begins. I love the joy and the happiness he brings my child.. and hate the sorrow that comes from my son not understanding why he cant have EVERY SINGLE Barney and why the power being out can keep us from playing him. I am looking for wisdom to learn how to overcome this barrier for him.

Chilling out

Blessings

The past few days, I have been sitting back and thinking about some things that were shown to me during this past week. I have been stopping to see the blessings of my son's disability and am in awe of what he teaches me. Without Christian;s autism, he may not have the same wonder and awe at Sesame Street or the love of Barney. I would not know the sheer magic in seeing Christian's eyes light up like a million stars when he sees me and squeals in delight when I come to get him at the end of the day. I know sometimes I think this is hard.. but often, I forget it is joyful and easy. Christian's spirit is light and he feels our home with laughter and songs. Michael asked me, if Christian is a happy little boy, whose problem is this autism anyway? Maybe he is right. Maybe, it is my need to see him move further and I am blindsided to his gifts. Friday, I woke up to Christian and Lily both full of laughter. Lily gave me the biggest smile and Christian laughed when I popped his thumb out of his mouth for the millionth time. I am thankful today for the blessings of my son's life and for the wonderful mom's and professionals who have taken the time to show me the blessings and how God is in control in our life. It still amazes me and I am honored to have two beautiful children. Lord, thank you for all you do to lift up our family and for allowing us to lift others along our journey.

If your happy and you know it.. CLAP your Hands

The World of Autism

Most days, I focus on my son's strengths and his progresses. Yet, that would not be a true picture of our Christian if I only told you those peices of our son. We do deal wit the puzzle peice of Autism and at times as a mom it is mournful to me. I mourn that parts of him that are not with us and try to work to bring them to him now.

Lately, Christian has been somewhat lost in letters, numbers, shapes, and colors. When we went out to dinner for Lily's birthday he was lost in how the food had shapes and numbers in them. A celery was a letter L and a Number 1. He was seeing letters, colors, shapes, and numbers everywhere. He could not eat his food because he was so focused on them. He was able to tell a server "Get my daddy please" He saw a picture of himself and I could see the literal nature of my son. It was him as a baby. It was a "blue, box, baby". Today, he looked at his eyes and said " white and green eyes". While, I love the progress in knowing all of this information, I can see how it traps him and keeps him lost at times.

Today, we celebrated Lily's 1st birthday and he was so excited to have a "happy birthday" yet, he can't tolerate all the people and all the crowd. He simply slips away to do his own thing in his own world and can not be there with us. He can't eat, he can't focus, and he has a hard time doing what he loves, even if it is just to eat birthday cake. He could not eat his food and could not focus. I found him even going inside to be away from us.

This is like his day care lately. There are more kids and more excitement. With more kids, comes new teachers and new situations. I am told his focus is off, he can not sit still, he is running to the door a lot more and can't respond unless you go to him and touch his face. I think he is over stimualted and the sensory imput is to great for him. This means, my son, just goes into himself. He may say hi and obsess over every time the door is open and may not be able to eat. I think somehow lowering the level of stress and change is imperative. He can not and will not communicate in this situation, except to show more signs of frustration.

I need to focus in with his team and decide what are some good supports to put in place for him in these situations. I continue to pray for God to intercede and cure my son from this disease. In the meantime, I am thankful for the guidance and support of the many people that surrounds my life.

Blessing to all that love and support my son.

The words are coming to him

Lately, I have been so suprised to see that more words are coming to Christian. Christian has spontaneously used sentences which are rather long and is showing more responsiveness in answering questions. Often times, due to Mike's work schedule, he an I are alone with his little sister Lily. It is during these times, that I see some of the best gains with him.

Last week, he has just woken up and went in his room. I called out for him and he came in to see me on my bed, with book in hand. When I said "Christian, what are you doing?" He said, " I want to read a book". I was so excited.. so I pulled him on the bed and we read the book together. (Or we tried because his little sis wanted every book he put in his hand and kept stealing them and laughing).

The same day, he was coming in from outside and fell in to the door way. Now, his normal response would have been "Are you okay? Are you alright?" which is an echoe from what I say to him when he falls. His response, without cues, was " I am okay".

When I took him to see Dr. Crevar for his adjustment, he made me laugh! When we were on the table and Dr. Crevar was touching his neck to do an adjustment, Christian said " I am well". This was not an echo and no one had mentioned the word to him.

When we got home for dinner, he had a hamburger and potato chips on his plate. He called out "Mommie" and I said "Yes, Christian, what do you want?" His response was "ketchup". Now this is a HUGE deal to me! He called out to me, told me what he wanted and sat down. During the same meal, he came to me and said "Cheese". I told him that the cheese would make his belly not feel good and he said "all well". Of course, I had to laugh..but no cheese for my little guy.

One night when Mike got home from work late he wanted to sing with Christian. Mike had a big glass of tea with him and Christian was asking every way he knew how to get this drink. "Thirsty, drinking, drink, more". Mike kept telling him to sing with him and he would give him a drink. (He had a drink a little before but he loves his dad's iced tea). We gave him a sip and then Mike started singing "Itsy bitsy spider" Christian kept saying "no" "Stop" or any combination and even tried to cover his dad's mouth. It was so funny that I had to laugh and I started singing with Michael. Partly for Daddy's sake who just wanted a moment with his son and the itsy bitsy spider was their thing. He looked at me and said, "Why are you doing this to me! Stop!" I think I must have fell out laughing but it was such a huge GAIN! We gave him a drink and went to tuck him in bed.

He is learning the concepts of "Off, on" and will ask me to turn Barney on if it has turned off. Tonight, I was trying to get him to say " I want to watch Barney" and he said "Mommy get it". That is what I say to him when he wants something and is growing impatient and upset.

Right now, he is watching Sesame Street with Lily and is playing with her tiny little feet. He turned over saw her feet and said "tip toes" and then tickled them saying "tickle tickle".

He has been coming up to me and saying many things. His speech is clearer at times and easier to understand. If I say "what did you say?" He will repeat himself. I know that this is great progress!

On the flipside, he has been shoving more and pushing more. I think this is somewhat to seek out deep pressure. For the most part, it is not when he is upset. However, it may have some behavioral components to it as well. I am giving him more "big hugs" and trying to do more of his sensory diet.

I was reminded this week that God can move mountains this week that we see as insurmountable. He is moving mountains in my son's life and I am thankful!

Understanding Hurts

Right now, I am working with Christian to figure out what it is he needs most. I am working on him indicating when he is hurting, pairing the sign with identifying and pointing with where he hurt himself. He has caught on and has been able to tell me what is wrong. He can say, "Hurt finger" and show them to me. He has told me "Hurt ears" when the fire alarm went off. I so often would find him crying and not have any idea where he hurt himself (my constant climbing, jumping guy) and now I feel this will help us to better help him. Tonight, He said "Ouch" and I asked him what and he said "my toe hurt" and pointed to his foot that had a blister.

After his bath tonight, I handed him a towel and he went into the bedroom to watch Barney. When he saw there was no Barney, he said "Sad. Where Barney go"? I went in and he went through a list of emotions (Happy, angry, sad and I played them with him). When I pretended to cry, he said "what's wrong". I know that is an imitation of me, but it is appropriate.

Today at day-care, Tina asked him what he wanted to do if he wanted to read a book or play dinasours and he said "nothing". Tina laughed and I was amazed at how much progress he is making. I told him today I had to go to work and he said "No, Pretty please" Tina said when she really wants him to do something that is what she says to him. He is getting things and making connections.

I will keep working with him and following him closely right now. Dr. Crevar saw him today and did another adjustment. He says that he is doing right brain stimulation because he is right brain delayed. He is adamant that CC is not autistic. I did not go into anything with him and just told him I was thankful for any help he might give me son. We will wait and see what progresses from here.

I must go and play with Lily and put CC to bed. I look forward to watching him grow.

Beautiful Boy

testing

Medical Interventions- Does it make a difference?

Medical Interventions- Does it make a difference? After going to the National Autism Conference, I felt I came back armed with new information. I came back with SOOO much information that I felt somewhat overloaded. Some of what clicked the most for me was how autism could be the result of a metabolic disorder and environmental toxins that were not present 20 or more years ago. They spoke of how Casein has an opiate type effect in some kids that do not process it properly (THIS IS MY CHILD!). With Christian, when you give him dairy, he is erratic, angers easily, and highly frustrated. He will scream and push and seem to block us out. He is non-responsive to his name.. he is our child pre-therapy. Thankfully, with the Soy he has a chance to make progress. Another recommendation at the conference was to give a multi-vitamin due to our kids limited diets. I am starting him on a vitamin and he suprisingly took it if I called it "candy". Last weekend, I was able to give him a baby aspirin for a fever by stating it was "candy". The funny thing is, he never gets candy. If it is easier to give him medications and he feels happy.. I am all for it! I met with Dr. Crevar, a neuropathic chiropractor last week and he told me that Christian definetly had some gut problems and that he recommended probiotics. He is taking a supplement 3 times per day with each meal. He said that if we can get his stomach back on track we may see a positive change. He has had chronic loss bowels since he was young and we are hoping to straighten this out. In layman's simple terms, If his stomach is not functioning and is "leaky" it does not process the nutrients it needs or complete biological processes necessary for optimal functioning. If we can get those things working properly, we can see an improvement. If I can see Christian's belly feeling better, then I am all for this intervention. Right now, we are going to stay and watch and see what happens. Hopefully, we will see a positive reaction!

My Angel sleeping 

My Name is .... Christian

One of the things that I very much wanted for Christian is for him to learn his name. When we are out in public, people always stop and say, "What's your name?" Christian will just look at them and say nothing. He knows his name, can identify himself in a photo by his name, and can identify it written. However, he misses that social communication peice of saying it when asked. I have worked on scripting and rote conversations with him lately. I will say, My name is Mommy" Your name is Christian. Then I will say it and leave out the last word. He can then fill it in. I have done the same things with teaching him his siblings and family members names. If I ask "what's her name" 9 out of 10 times he wont answer me. If I say, "Her name is ..." He will fill in the blank. At church on Sunday, someone asked him his name and he said Your name is Christian! I know it is a script but he used in a social context and I am thrilled! We just have to keep working and keep moving forward!

The Evaluation Process - He is Autistic

As a parent, being told something "maybe" wrong with your son, was one of the hardest things we faced. The hardest, was knowing something was wrong and not being able to get the right diagnosis to get the supports, until now. Christian was seen in November and according to all the tests, he was at risk for Autism. Up until that point, we had always treated him like an infant and his world was pretty undisturbed. As we started treatment, he began to show the gammit of behaviors. His will had always been what mattered and we tried to keep our little guy happy. Once we changed, we saw a lot of sensory behaviors begin to develop as his form of coping. We used every resources at our disposal on our limited income to get help. I found that their was a program at Vanderbilt University who was doing a study that would evaluate for free and give us a savings bond to boot! So off we went with high expectations that they would understand our son and give us the help we needed. We were told that he was not anywhere on the spectrum and he was just developmentally delayed (. As if this were something to celebrate!) After I left that evaluation, I remember that Mike and I did not speak for about 30 minutes, until he asked me "Okay, so what do you think?" I told him in my heart that I did not believe the diagnosis was accurate and we should figure out our next step. You see, most parents would have ran with that diagnosis thinking "Whew, not my child!" and stopped there. Yet, it did not seem right for him. Our course was then to go back to the initial psychologist and have him re-tested. With the help of his treatment team's recommendation and Support Coordinator and his DI, we were able to accomplish this evaluation. He was seen in his pre-school around other kids and was able to interview the classroom teachers and us. Christian is a social child and this can throw off the evaluation process. We have intensively trained him on all areas that were problems for him and where he looked normal on some things, it was because he has learned rote, scripted conversations. He can say "Hi, What are you doing". But beyond that, the conversation stops. When he was seen, Christian was playing alone while the kids were all singing ring-around the rosey. He did not tune in until his teacher started talking about colors with another child. Christian is very focused on letters (he knows all of his alphabet and can identify letters easily). He knows all the primary colors and is working on more. He can count to twenty. He knows most of his shapes. Yet, if you ask him his name he could not tell you. If he is thirsty, he may cry and sob, and not say drink. Even though he has the words. Using his words in a social context is where Christian struggles. He loves people and loves to say Hi and Bye. Beyond that initial greeting, he is lost if they do not lead the way and even then most often veers off. He does follow more with adults who can talk to him.. yet this is mostly comprised of singing with him or labeling. He has several sensory issue and this seems to keep him busy. OT really helps with that issue for us. So now, we have the autistic diagnoses and I feel relieved. Sad and relieved. Sad because it is there but hopeful because he has made so many gains so far on his journey. Thank You GOD for allowing us to support such a wonderful beautiful little boy.

Christian's Life and his supporting Cast

Mike and I originally had Christian evaluated in November of 2004 for what was thought to be autism symptoms. Up to that point, we had not even fathomed that our son could be dealing with this issue. When he was seen by Dr. Carl Myers, we were told to have him re-evaluated in a year and to pursue intensive early interventions in the interim. Christian began regular therapies. We used his team to get intense supports and place people and supports all around him. We enrolled him in Family First Learning Center where he gets about 15 hours a week of time with normally developing peers and a wonderful cast of staff that loves and helps him. We enrolled him in the regional child development Center for supplemental services for a grant based program. We also started him at Western Kentucky's Early Childhood program where he is going to a 2 hour Big Red Way each week with Lisa Murphy. His support coordinator worked to help us have him re-evaluated so that we could find out what supports we could put in place to support him further. I did not know that I would always feel such thankfulness. If it were not for the drive and dedication of his staff he would not be here where he is today. He also goes to church 2 times a week and is around peers his own age. As we have had very limited funds, these programs have been the gift of hope for our son! I can not tell you the anguish of a mom knowing that there is help out there but it has a price tag higher than you can pay.. thanks to the Places like the Family First ELC, RCDC, Western, and First Steps.. my child can bloom. He has over 200 words now.. he started with 3 in less than 7 months ago. God, thank you for putting the people in our lives that have made our son's growth possible. Thank you to Lisa who took the time out to go and help me with the evaluation process. Thank you to Mrs Tina who teaches my son about dancing.. this brings him such a sense of joy and who teaches him things to bring him laugther. Thank you to Mrs. Toby.. he loves her and looks forward to her and I look forward to her wisdom. Thank you to Vicki who has taught Christian to talk and has tapped into his passion for music. There are no many more in this supporting cast... that we love and most importantly Christian loves. Thanks for all you do!!

NO MILK FOR ME

Mike and I decided that we wanted to take Christian off of his Casein (Dairy-free) diet for his upcoming clinical evaluation for autism. It was our feelings that the Dairy was a dietary intervention that makes a dramatic difference in Christian's behaviors and responsiveness and we wanted the evaluator to get a clear picture of our son. Within only an hour or so of each item of dairy he ingested (Milk, pizza, ice cream, cheetos), we could truly see a diffrent child. When Christian ingests dairy products he screams for no reason and can not be easily consoled, he is highly uncooperative, and shows stomach distress. We noticed that he would have more diarhea type stools on milk. Christian's asthma symptoms returned and we had to use his nebulizer for the first time in a long period. He would cough until he gagged and threw up. I noticed that he could not sleep and we were into the wee hours of morning without a nap. He seemed to almost act as if he had been given a stimulant of some sort and it was speeding him up. His sister, Nicole, who is 5, asked repeatedly " Is this not my real brother? When do we get the real brother back??" When we first sought a behavioral evaluation/plan it was primarily for the lack of cooperation, non-responsiveness, and chronic yelling.... it went away and we thought it had all been therapy gains. Milk will make you take a rapid double take of what it could really be for him. We saw all of those problem behaviors arise in Christian when we put back in the dairy. His Meme heard him on the phone and was shocked at the diffrence. As a matter of fact, she was so shocked about how much of a diffrent a natural remedy made for him that she has began to pursue some holistic treatments herself for her own health issues. Thankfully, as of this date, Christian is off dairy. We have to make some adjustments to his diet, but when we lose sight of how critical it is too be off dairy, this is a vivid reminder.

The loves of my life 

Catch me if you can 

Coming Unglued at the Company Pic Nic

Today, was the company picnic for LifeSkills. We went to the picnic at the park and expected to have a fun family time. No sooner than we had walked into the gate, I had an inkling this might be hard for Christian. There were probably about 300 people there with a band playing, kids playing, food, and huge blow up outdoor kids games. We found a spot to sit down our stuff quickly and within just a few minutes, Christian was ready to go and play. He kept saying " eat play eat play" and could hardly wait to finish his food before he eas ready to run with his dad. The large blow up kids games ( Like you see at Carnivals) where designed where you had to go inside to jump and play. The other was a huge slide that he was too little to climb and another big kids ridge. He quickly became frenzied and starting running between the rides with his dad. I saw that he kept falling to the groud and screaming, from a distance so I went to help. I helped him go inside the games but they were overwhelming to him. As soon as he would go in, he smiled at kids but they were not smiling back at him really and the jumping seem to be a little to much so he climbed back out. He was distressed because he wanted to play. He seemed very disorganized and could not get himself back together. He started yelling and falling to the ground, so I gently picked him up and he threw a fit. I introduced him to some of my co-workers, which may have been too much for him and then his dad came and we switched so that I could take Lily. As this point, after only a half hour or so of intese packed drama we decided to leave. Dad walked Christian outside and he was screaming, falling to the ground and sobbing hysterically. When I got to the car 5 minute or so late with Lily, he seemed to becoming unraveled. He threw his drink I handed him and cried. His Dad said he had never seen him like this. I have seen the fit but not the disorganized processing this intensly. He could not look at me for more than briefly. I asked Mike to take us over to the park next door thinking that might help him calm down. As soon as we pulled into the park, he stopped crying. He walked with me into the park and immediately starting running from thing to thing. At one point, he began saying " hurry hurry hurry" and began to run frantically to the next ride. He would go up the slide and be focused on the next thing before he could was even done. This is not his pace and his usually much more happy go lucky. He just seemed to be having hard time processing. When it was time to go about 15 minutes later, I told him we need to go and he cried and began the whole falling to the ground again. On the way out, he was crying HELP ME HELP ME Stop Momma Stop Momma. Honey, Honey, No no. When I put him in the seat he said "No seat.. no no no" and knocked off the front of his cover. His dad came and helped us fix it. When we started driving, he continued sobbing to the point he began to gag like he was going to vomit. Quick thinking Dad found his Barney Sing-Along Tape. He put in the tape and Christian found a Barney book. He started singing along with Barney and was much better. When he got home, I stripped him down, turned on Sesame Street and gave him some time to regroup. By this point, Christian had started interacting with us again and seemed to have his thoughts organized. As a mom, it is anguishing to watch him become that distraught. I think it was just a sensory overload with too many people, too many choices and to much activity. We need to play diffrently next year if we decide to go in the future. Thank Goodness that one was over! WHEW!

Imagination

Christian is using his IMAGINATION and I am seeing things happening with him that shows me his make remarkable progress. Today, he was sitting in his high chair watching Barney and having dinner. I had been writing on a lined notecard and drew 1 solid black line down the middle. After, I messed up, I laid it aside and Christian picked it up. He first labeled it "Paper" and then when he saw the line, he said "1". He kept taking this little paper index card and using his imagination to play with it. He rolled it up and looked at me and Said "I see you" looking out of the peep hole in the middle. After, a few minutes, he said Train and pushed it around the high chairs edge saying " Train, chugga chugga cho cho" and making it move. I told him to make it an airplane and showed him the noise and how to imitate it and he did. He imitated the flying and made the noise and then went back to making it a train. He seems to just be tuned in on a whole new level. He heard the door today, and said " Coming". I often say that when I am not at the door yet. But, when he practice our script about knocking, It is usually " Who is it? Come In" So, he is even getting the other parts of the interaction. I made him some popcorn and sat in on the computer desk where he was coming over to eat it every few minutes. He saw me take a bite and said "Hungry, eat" and picked it up and moved it to the coffee table. I was so tickled because he is beginning to show possession of things. Lily had a book that he did not want her to have so he put it away (which he has never done with begging and physical prompts). He is also understanding and missing people. When he left today for the store, Lisa (DI) was here and doing therapy with his sister. When he got back, his first question was "Where's Lisa". He only uses rote questions, Like "what doing?" and seems to not really get that as much as knowing it is an interactional phrase. Often times, I say, Christian, what are you doing? We are working on a script so he says his name. I will say, " My name is Mommy. Your name is ... Christian." I will wait for a pause and allow him to say his name ( he is inconsistent). I will then follow up with " What's your name? and if he does not answer. I will say, Your name is ____ and wait for him to reply. So often people come up to him and say Hi and ask his name and the conversation ends after he initiates a smile and maybe says hi. He would not answer a question about his name or respond usually appropriately. We will keep working on these things.. I am so encouraged with his progress! His therapists have very keen insight in to even the little nuiances of his changes and how to support him. Today, I think God for the blessings he has given me with Christian's support team.

It's Right there Mama (pointing to his cup)

Christian has had 10 days now with a flu bug. He has had vomiting and diarhea off and on now for this period. You would never know he is sick.. he runs and plays and has lots of energy. He did whimper at school when he had diarrhea as if his stomach was hurting him. He would cry after vomiting but make no indications before he was going to be sick. I hope now that his feeling better he is well on his way to be over this yuck! During this period of a queasy stomach, he has been on a very bland diet. I have given him no milk/soy milk, no dairy (as usual) and have avoided juice. He has been eating bland things.. like bannanas, ginger ale/clear fluids. He has had some really big breakthough moments where he is using 5 words at a time. This is unusal for him and he has not repeated it.. but this is a GIANT deal. I asked him yesterday, "Christian, where is your drink?" He looked at me, scanned the room, visually saw it and said, while pointing "Its right there Mama". When I asked him to go and get it, he actually did! When we were taking a bath, he took a bath toy and looked at me through a hole in it and said " I see your picture Mama". He loves pictures and cameras and seemed to make a connection with this one. He has answered Yes and no questions more readily (although not consistently at all). He has been labeling like crazy (everything he sees that he understands). On Sunday, I told him we were going to go to Church. His reply was "see Meme papa". I told him we would talk about it after church. On the way home, I asked him if he wanted to go home and see Lily and Daddy. His reply was "see meme Papa". So, we went to visit his Meme and Papa in Nashville on Monday. The past two days, he has been asking for Toby. He goes to the door and looks out the window and says "Toby" excitedly. He has been saying the names of "Tina, Alaysia, Sklyer". He had been labeling like mad lately. It is great.. but it may be a little of an avoidant thing too. When he labels, it is at times when there is something we are trying to get him to do (not Christian directed) and he becomes upset. He has been saying WHOOOOAH, WHOOOAH alot lately, when he wants me to stop doing something. He has also been saying, STOP IT, ALL DONE and NO when he does not want me to do something. I was singing to him and he covered my mouth and said NO NO NO and I continued and he said ALL done and STOP IT. I was so tickled that I just kept singing. He was adamant with me so I stopped. When he got sick at his Meme's, he took a wash cloth I was using to clean him and threw it and said ALL DONE. So, he is being more declarative in what he wants. He is following my finger when I point and he is pointing himself. He is easily distracted though and forgets what you ask him if he is visually distracted. I am going to try to make a more concerted effort to write. He has also been sick and off a lot of things that he might have sensitivities too. So, we shall need to watch carefully as he is going back to a normal diet this week.

Mommy Struggles

I have not posted in a bit because I have found myself somewhat stuck. My daughter, Lily, was also identified as having delays. She is 9 months old now and we had her evaluated around 8 months old. She is having some struggles with her physical strength. This meant another round of evaluations, meetings, and now therapies. While, I am FOREVER grateful for all the professional help with my Christian, I did not think I would have to go through this again with my daughter. I work full time and find I already at times grieve not being home with my kids. I have worked with folks with disabilities (Mental illness or mental retardation) my entire professional career. While this is a blessing, it is also a curse. I know what happens to those people in the "system". I see the pains they experience from their lives not being as they imagined or as there parents imagined. It is like anything else.. I can tell you stories that would make your heart overflow from the gifts of services and would make your heart weep for the lack of supports people recieved. In light of all that, I think the one word I can use to let you know the most how I feel is COMPELLED. Compelled to make sure that I do everything in my power to get my children the supports they need and to push them as far as they can go so that they have the best chance for sucess. I have had friends and family members tell me if Lily is delayed it is because I have to give so much of my attention to my son. Talk about painful. It echoes in me that I could do more to make it not so pr0nounced in my son if I could have more time and could move Lily forward with more support. Today, someone asked me if I was just being paranoid about my daughter being delayed. I just felt like "UGGGHHHH!" Do people really think that I want to be experiencing this heart wrenching fear and constant state of worry?? There are certain realities you know as a parent that has working in this field. I know that his support team can help him blossom or keep him stagnant. I do understand that if your not a parent of a child with a disability, you can not truly understand. I can tell you that working with disabilities my entire life, did not give me the knowledge that having a child did about what it really feels like from a parent's perspective. I know since my sons disability, I see with new eyes and hear with new ears. Things affect me differently and I seem to feel even more empassioned than I did before to be a voice, an advocate for those people that may not have a voice. I admit I have Mommy struggles. I also have joys beyond belief. I know my heart still leaps when I see my children when they wake up.. that smile and need to cuddle with mama could not be replaced. I still feel my childrens laughter to the tip of my toes. They fill me with a joy I never understood before being their Mom. I will continue to seek God's answers and learn more as we journey together.

I did it!

Christian is simply amazing me lately at how fast he is progressing. The things he says and does surprise me at most turns now.

This week he was able to blow a bubble and was so enthralled at this success. It was son wonderful to hear his " I did it!" and see his eyes twinkle as he saw the bubbles.

Last night, after coming home from church, he sang a song he had made up to his sister. He sang a song "Lily, Lily, I love you.. I love you... Baby Lily, Baby Lily, I love you" It was to the rhyme of Fere Jacques. Even now, I am in awe of this progress. No one had sang this song to him before so this was him thinking up the words. IMAGINATION is sparking within my child.

Tuesday when I took him to Day care, Tina (his teacher) shared with me tha the day before he had made a picture for me. When his dad came to pick him up, he ran and got his picture and carried it to Daddy, saying "My Mommy". WOW! Christian will bring you a book to read or something to open, but he has never brought me something to show me something he had done. If he colors, he leaves it where he laid it. He has began to use possessive's in speech (me, my, you)

I took him on Sunday to see MeMe and Papa and they were so pleased with what they saw in him. He was able to say every letter, count to twenty, and identify many common objects. He saw some grapes in a picture and said "Purple". I asked his daycare if he had learned grapes were purple and Tina said she has colored squares and they are working on identifying colors, but they were not specific to an item. This means that he really knows the color and it is not a rote statement.

He is following directions better for me and will bring things to me upon request. He has shown a burst in communicating and has been having some difficulties with the word "no". He feels that if he asks for something we should let him do what he wants to escape what the wants. I am trying to show him empathy that he is upset but keep working with him to follow my commands. I am noticing his pushing and climbing more and seeking deep pressure. I let his school know so that we can use these things across settings.

He has been asking for cookies when he went into the kitchen and trying to climb to get them. He cried one day because I would not let him in the kitchen and when I asked why, he said "cookie". I went and got the cookie for him and all was better.

I am thankful for God's prescence in our family and for my son's continued growth. His supports (Lisa, Vicki, Toby, Keri, Day care, Meme and Papa and family) make all the difference in our lives. I look forward to many more celebrations where I can hear him say "I did it"!

Play with Me

"YES" is a simple world that communicates more than I could have ever imagined. This morning, like every morning, I asked Christian if he wanted a "cookie" for breakfast (his word for a cereal bar) before we left for school. He looked at me and Said "Yes" very definetly and clearly. As if he had been saying yes forever now. WOW! I just felt touched by him this morning and how very hard he has been working to come back to us and learn to talk to us. I celebrated with him and told him how proud I was of him for letting me know he wanted a cookie. If you do not have a child that has those delays, it is easy to take the moments where they speak forgranted. Those baby steps begin baby leaps for my son when he "gets it"!.

Sunday, I was leaving church and we passed a park. Christian saw it and said "park" and started to cry. I told him that we would go to the park after we had lunch and he settled down. As soon as lunch was over, we went to play at the park. When we got home and explained our detour to his Dad, I had to laugh at his response. Mike told me that Christian was going to figure me out and start understanding if he asked for something, he got it and got his way. Isn't that what we wanted to happen? (smiling) The best news, is that he IS getting and understanding that and talking to me. Now, in the long run, we will have to shape it a little so that he does not use it to escape things. Vicki and I had spoken last time we talked about teaching him to say "no" when he did not want to do something and reinforcing that with him. It is kind of strange to try and teach him to say "no" to me, but when I used it in context when he is upset as another way, he seems to be understanding it and using it appropriately.

Saturday night, after a busy weekend, I settled in to play for a bit because he wanted to play with me. He started the bantering back and forth and we began to count together. Christian would say "1" and I would say "2" and on and on we would go. I decided to play with him and say "9" after he said "6" and he looked at me and said "No, 7". I told him he was right and giggled with him. Then later I thought I would try it again to test the waters and when he said a number, I responded out of sequence with "16" and he looked at me and said "17". Well, my chin could have hit the floor because I was so shocked. Again, when you can plug in.. tap into what he is thinking.. You are amazed at his way of thinking. It is so amazing to see that he is becoming more verbal and he is beginning to understand that their is a connection between us with words. He often plugs into me and connects through a song. He is learning to connect songs to his life and brings them full circle in helping him reach out. He sings, I sing back and we banter laughing at the silliness and the happiness with these simple moments.

Thank you God for giving me eyes to see and ears to hear as my son grows in his language. I can't wait til he will be saying to me " Come play with me".

He knows that

Christian had therapy today with Lisa and seemed to enjoy his visit with her. He is becoming more cooperative at following simple adult directed commands. Lisa used the 1st ____ then 2nd ____ technique (Pre-mack principle) with him to generate cooperation and understanding. I am going to try and incorporate more of this in his life. This basically means you prefer a reinforcing event (swinging) with a non-preferred event (labeling items). It does seem to be motivational to him. She also recommended we begin to use social stories with pictures because he has such an excellent memory. I started this tonight when I took pictures of him on the way to church. We can use social stories for many things that he needs to learn to help him visualize what we are asking of him. Another thing to work on right now is offering him choices. Lisa felt that if we begin to offer him choices routinely he will understand and possibly show his preference and not be dependent on what he thinks we want him to say due to a therapy effect. I had noticed with juice and milk I gave him choices and now he says "Juice and Milk" or "Milk and Juice". So, a choice has become a script for him.

Today, I was really happy to see that he could name several items by function, which showed a deeper understanding that what he can express to us. He knew what you stack and knock down (blocks), what you wear on your head (hat) and several more. The most amazing thing to me is that there is so much in there that we can not get to until we find these little switches to access the information. Today I found myself thinking "he knows that" outloud and in my head as I watched him struggle to pull up information to recite on cue. I know that is the social part of his language skills that is hard for him. Christian knows all the alphabet letters and can say them when he sees them by sight. Today, he say an F and could see him struggling and not finding the words. As a mom, you want to whispher it and you feel sad that he can draw it up. I can not say I understand the mysteries of knowing and not being able to get it out. I just hurt sometimes because there is so much there and I want him to be able to let me know. The hardest part is when he feels pain. I will know he hurts from the cry of distress but he cant say he hurts or why.

We put a swing out on our front porch ( which is a great thing) for him. He swang for an hour last night and about 30 minutes today. This is a great safe way to contain him safely while he enjoys all that outdoors has to offer him, with sights, sounds, and wonder. Today, he started sobbing and Mike did not understand why he was so sensitive and thought he was over tired. I had this "huh? that does not make sense" kind of feeling. When I went outside to get him, I noticed a coffee cup on the chair. When I asked Mike if he had taken a sip when he swang him and he said probably, I knew that was why he was crying. Again, He knows that... He can say cup, drink, and thirsty. But he just cant pull it up when he is the midst of a situation. When I gave him a drink he was settled in and relaxed again in his swing.

I am so thankful for his therapists and for the people that I have met that have given me a better understanding of how to help my son. I know that he is making leaps and bound progress.. we just have to figure out how to get through even more clearly,

SO when I think "He knows that", I will also say a prayer that one day he can show us that he knows that...

Barney is a Friend

Spring is definetly here with us and it has brought an excitement to our house. Christian has shown a whole new excitment for the word "outside". We love to go to the park and play! This weekend, we went to the park several times so that we could make sure he had lots of time to run and play and let his little spirit soar.

We went to the drive-in to see "Robots". This was not the most enjoyable trip for Christian because he did not like the idea of sitting still. Mike kept telling him to sit and Christian would reply "walk". Holding him was not fun as he would kick, cry and bang his head on us. We tried the back of the van, which was short lived. His favorite thing was to take off running! Oh well, it did get us out of the hum-drum of the house. He is not safe in the car lately and has figured out how to get out of his car seat. When I fussed at him sternly, he cried so hard I thought he was going to make himself vomit. Ugghh...I just have to remember therapy is not for Sissy's as Vicki tell me (smiling!)

Christian's communication and interactions seems to be picking up so quickly. Yesterday, we had went to the park and when we got home a few hours later I asked him if he wanted to go and play with his sisters. His response was "again?" Now, that seemed entirely appropriate and another first for him. Today, when we went to the park with a few little boy's, he was interactive and seemed to enjoy playing a chase game. Ethan put his french fry in his mouth and fed Christian to have him take a bite from the other end ( I know Kids are gross!) but the cool thing was Christian thought it was really funny and took it from him with his hand.

He has been responding appropriately to I love you. Rather than just saying it back, he has been saying "love you too" or " u too". At first, It was a little shocking because again it was another step forward in his speech. He has also benn following verbal commands more readily. Now mind you, he still has GREAT room for improvement in this area.. but we are seeing changes.

He has been playing with the animals in his fisher price farm and has been playing with them appropriately. He has even been taking them for a walk if I ask him too. Yesterday, I watched him try to put the little Fisher price girl on the horse for a ride. WOW! That either imagination or he is doing what he is learning at school. Either way, he is generalizing it and using what he learns.

As usual, life is full of songs at our house. He has been focused on Barney for a while now and loves his videos and the Wiggles. The good part is that he learns songs and then can use them in context at other times. For example, last week, I showed him a picture of a star and he started singing "twinkle twinkle little star" and when he say the spider picture he sang "itsy bitsy spider". He is learning to hop and is getting quite good.

When we took him to KFC the other day for lunch, he ate a variety of foods. He was far from my carbohydrate loving only french fry eating child! I truly belive his peers eating other foods have been a great influence on him.

Yesterday, he picked up a Barney stuffed animal and sang the I love you song to him. Then he brought him over to watch Barney video with him. This is the first stuffed animal I have seen him connect too and carry around.

Thank God for these huge leaps of progress for my son.. and for the blue skies that fascinate him lately. He always say "trees and Sky" and I only wonder if he will have the same passion for the blooming trees in the spring and blue skies as his mama.

Keeping Christian Safe

Christian was in a bright mood today. His day was full of songs (usually 3 rolled into 1) and lots of laughter. On these high energy days, are the days we struggle with those times he just not safe.

We arrived at Pre-school today and I talked with him as usual about his friends and him playing today. I open the door, take his head and walk to the door. You see, the door always poses a problem for me because I have to let go of his hands. To open the door there, I have to push in a code, turn the switch and then pull the door towards me to open it. I let go of his hand and take a deep breathe, hoping he did not run. TODAY was not our day! He was smiling and happy and then it happened.. he saw the slide! So he took off running to the slide and the playground. So, I suppose a safety plan to get in the door is my next mission.

Mike called me and said that he climbed the chair at school and fell. While this is not usual for him, I do wish that we could teach him and have him stop climbing. At home, I have things he can climb safely and deep pressure activities. I know this makes it hard for the pre-school and will make it even harder when he enters school. Hopefully, OT will show us some things for school when he is struggling there. The school is FABULOUS with him and I am sure will work with the OT suggesstions.

Last night, I decided to go to church with him. I struggle with the church issue and how to support him there. I am a new Christian and really learning to use my faith to help guide me right now. On Wednesday nights, I have to get from the car to the classroom with him and possibly my daughter. I called Hillvue and am trying to work out assistance in the parking lot so I can come to church. Last night, I got a babysitter and came alone with Christian. He is excited to be there an excited to be in his class. He is adamant he does not want to leave (Crying and throwing himself) when I leave and I always wonder what they must be thinking. As we go down the stairs (with a purse, a diaper bag and child in tow) he drops to the floor on the stair well with a line behind me. UGHHHH He screams and I try to pick him up and talk to him about what is happening next. Transitions were hard for him today.

In the car on the way home, I had this thought.. Check the child safety locks. So I checked them and one was unlocked. After re-locking it, securely fastening in Christian we were on our way. It was only a few minutes until I noticed him almost out of his car seat. Okay Houdini! This is our 3rd Car seat now and he still finds a way. Thank goodness for that reminder the check the locks.

I was glad to be home with the kids when we got back and spent the night playing with him and his baby sister. We are working on having play time together. At bath time, Christian was singing and Said "STOP" dramatically! I thought, okay.. we can work with this and thank you to whoever he learned this from. So I am going to play hand clapping/tapping games and then stop dramatically to try and teach him the word and use his sisters to help me.

Christian drifted off the sleep in my arms (so much for the behavior plan to sleep alone) then I gently placed him in his room, where he slept ALL NIGHT IN HIS ROOM.

So today, it seemed to be a dance of progress and room to grow. I guess I just need to figure out some new directions with safety.

Thirsty

Well here it was 7:45 p.m. and my sleepy little boy drifted off to sleep. He looked so sweet that I thought well if he wakes up early we will just start our day sooner. I can tell you that 12:30 a.m. was not what I thought of as getting up early! Christian woke up full of songs and laughter. I woke up feeling like a big slug. As I am sitting there asking myself why am I awake now and wont you please go back to sleep, Christian looked at me and said "Thirsty". So, we sprinted out of bed to get a drink. I handed him a drink and he said "MMM good drink". I had to smile and be thankful for the words he is beginning to use. Something as simple as asking for a drink can be hard and frustrating for him. There are times that even the thought of him talking when asked sends him into tears. At 2:30 a.m. when he finally fell back to sleep, basically curled on top of my head, I said a "Thank You" prayer for those bright moments no matter how ill-timed when Christian is able to find the words to say "thirsty".

Christian's growing

I have a 2 year old little boy that amazes me every day! In November of 2004, we decided that we should have him evaluated due to him showing some serious delays in his speech and delays. We found out that he is most likely autistic. When we started treatement, he said 3 words.. Hi, bye, and Da. Everyday since that starting point, he is moving forward.

I started this blogger for 2 reasons. One is for my child. It will help me gain perspective and measure those changes to help him forward. The second, just as important, is to offer hope and support to others who find themselves on the same journey.

I am going to start where we are today.. and just note what progresses I see or areas that we should work on to focus on growth.

Yesteday, he say Big Bird and Elmo and Identified them and then he went and put them down the slide. AMAZING! The great part.. this is imaginary play. That thing that is most often lacking in kids with autism. Today, I saw him put Big Bird in the bus to go for a ride. I bought him a Barney stuffed animal and he has been singing him the "I love YOU" Barney song and giving him love. Those two things enough are the things that brought me the brightest joy.

Yesterday, we went to the park and he had so much fun. He loves and plays with such passion. He got his first hair cut.. he got through it by looking at the mirrors and lots of singing. He is learning nursery rhymes (itsy bitsy spider, Old Macdonald, If your happy and you know it.. just to name a few.

Tonight, he has been loving and snuggly. We spent time together at Bath time and I celebrated that now he will cover his hair with a bowl and pretend he is putting a hat on his head. This makes bath time much easier. Usually, I pour it over his head and he cries.. thank goodness for his sister, who showed me how to pretend it was a hat with him.

Well enough for now... Thank you God for my children and how they grow me.